“This year, Jesus has been helping experience more and more of his glorious peace. The kind of “peace which surpasses all understanding”. I grew up as a kid of divorced parents, and marriage had always been a scary thought for me. There was a lot of pressure and worry attached to the idea for me all growing up, and I was so scared of ending up having a marriage like my parents and putting my kids through the pain and hurt that I went through.
When I started dating my now husband, so much worry and anxiety came up in me relating to these things, that I couldn’t really open myself up to the gift that Jesus was putting in front of me. My boyfriend offered me so much grace and patience as I worked through my fear and anxiety, and tiny breakthroughs started to happen here and there when I would have friends lay hands and pray over me that Jesus would break off the fear and anxiety attached to dating. We prayed that I would be able to instead receive his peace and his voice and guidance. I slowly began to receive His peace in dating and obey his voice over submitting to the fear and anxiety that had a hold on me.
As I started to take step after step in receiving his peace and listening to his voice and asking him to take away fear and anxiety, I could finally see where God was working in our relationship, and the good plans he had for us as a couple. Through discernment in community, lots of prayer and counsel, we made the decision to get engaged in February and in a season of engagement that I pictured myself struggling with the decision and having to fight my fears about marriage; I was so surprised to see that I found access to his peace in relationship with him was becoming easier and easier. I could hear his voice in this area more quickly.
When I could pray and hear Jesus’ voice and hear his dreams for our relationship and future family, when I could believe Him that he was breaking off the chains of divorce in my family and could, by his grace, start a new story with our new family, I could feel myself drawing closer to him and submit to his plans instead of fear that was ruling my life. My husband and I got married in September, and I have experienced so much joy in this new season of life and am so grateful to Jesus for bringing freedom to my life in this area. I still have some fears that rise up, but I know how to run to Jesus every time and ask him to fill me up with his peace in the midst of the situation, and ask him to show me what he’s doing.”